Guest Blog: Imperfect Mothering

Ashley is a sincerely authentic and total powerhouse mama. I am constantly impressed with her positive attitude and gumption for life! She exemplifies the possibilities of happiness and optimism, in what I would call *stressful and demanding* day-to-day living. Thanks Ashley for sharing with us your marvelous insights!

When my first child was born, he was sweet, calm, loved to snuggle, and even slept through the night at six weeks old. I hate to admit, but I thought, “Wow! I am a great mom! This isn’t so hard.” It’s funny how my confidence quickly turned into a learning experience. Less than two years later, my second son was born and reality hit. I became painfully familiar with colic, extreme sleep deprivation, and mothering two little people while my husband worked long hours.

Fast forward two years. It is 5:30 in the morning, pitch black outside, and the middle of winter. My oldest son walks into our bedroom.

“Mom!” Is he screaming? Again to wake me, “MOM, I’m thirsty.” Rubbing my eyes, I try to gather my surroundings. WHO and WHY?

“My name isn’t mom anymore. Go ask your dad.” Great parenting moment, Ashley! (Tell me you’re guilty of this too?)

Does your child think you know everything, are the ultimate superhero, can fix any problem? Who do they go to first for advice about school? “Mom!” may be the first person they turn to to know where their favorite shirt is, or for words of wisdom about their next sports game. It can feel pretty great to know your child relies on you for every correct answer.

So we do our best to keep looking like the authority.

We try to keep up a flawless image for our spouse, neighbors, strangers on social media, even the garbage man. But can I let you in on a little secret? Your child doesn’t need a perfect mother. They need an imperfect one. A mom who knows how to say sorry, admit wrongs, and gracefully move on.

Kids learn by example. Teach them it is okay to be wrong. And that when we mistake a mistake, we learn from it, say we’re sorry and move on.

Embrace your uniqueness as a mother. What talents do you have that you aren’t sharing? While in high school, I loved to sing and play the piano. For years, I haven’t done either of these until recently. To my great surprise, I began hearing my children humming tunes in the bathtub and in the car. (when they thought I wasn’t looking!) Encourage your children to develop their talents and share them with others.

When you have a bad day (and I’ve had dozens), take a deep breath, hug your children, and tell them you love them no matter what.

To the moms in the trenches who feel like your imperfections are many, look up. Notice the way your child looks at you and ONLY you. You are his mother. And no one can take your place. Embrace the real, unfiltered, beautiful life that is yours. Your child loves you—imperfections and all.

mothering imperfect motherhood children kids love stress baby mom mama mormon LDS

Ashley is a Registered Nurse, mom of 3, Christian, fitness enthusiast, and her favorite color is purple.
Ashley Clark (@burnfitness.ashleyclark)
| Married to the love of my life | Mom of 2 boys + 1 Girl | RN | Cook | Fitness Lover | Christian | Sarcastic non-crafter |
| buRN Fitness |Be accountable. Stay positive. Achieve your goals. |
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