I am so grateful to be learning and expanding in the realm of the perfection of Now. It was up until a year or two ago I believed that I was flawed, imperfect, broken, and needed to be fixed or healed.
There are definitely still areas of my life that aren’t up to my own “expectations” of how I’d like to show up, and yes- there are always areas for expanding and growing; but I’ve come to realize that I truly am perfect, whole, and complete in this moment. My perspective on what I perceive to be “flaws” has literally transformed.
Having children has really helped me with this concept. I look at my 5 year old who is learning to read right now… Is he flawed, bad, or wrong because he doesn’t know how to read? No way! He just hasn’t yet learned how. Is it because he hasn’t been trying hard enough? Or because he’s broken and failing? No way.
He is five. That is where he is at in life. He is learning how to read, how to clean up messes after himself when he’s done, how to self-soothe his fears of the dark, and how to negotiate and work things out with his peers. There is nothing wrong or flawed with that. He’s like a seed, with massive potential and capabilities within him, that just haven’t been given the time to develop yet.
Is a seed less than a sprout? Or a sprout less than a full grown tree? No way! It is just on it’s perfect journey of expansion and growth–it’s own perfect timing.
Comparisons, expectations, and judgments make us feel that we are not where we need to be. They make us feel flawed, broken, unworthy, and incomplete.
Could you be willing to let these expectations go? Just open yourself up to the possibility that those around you, and YOU are exactly where you need to be. You are learning exactly what you need to learn, and you are perfect, right now.
Letting go of paradise and heaven as the ‘destination’ after life, has been a great realization and blessing in my life. If you think about it, why would this be the case? Why would perfection and joy and fullness and fulfillment be something we could never obtain in this life? I don’t buy that, and it’s extremely disempowering!
What if perfection isn’t a destination? What if all of that joy, that completion, that bliss, is possible right now? What if you’ve already arrived at your destination, in every new moment? Everything is as it should be, because it is what it is, and because that is the reality of what is happening now.
Fighting against reality, and telling yourself that you shouldn’t be a certain way, that your spouse shouldn’t be a certain way, that your kids shouldn’t be a certain way, that the country, the president, the _____________(fill in the blank) shouldn’t be a certain way only leads to pain and suffering. Letting go of the judgments of yourself and forgiving yourself for being exactly where you are on your journey opens the gateway for you to do the same to those around you.
Yes, people in their unconsciousness and their not-knowing have hurt you, have disappointed you, and they have a long way to go on their own journey… But what if they were honestly doing their best with what they knew how? I know that I have hurt people from unconscious awareness, and people have hurt me. That’s reality.
There have been so many times I have looked back in the past with embarrassment or shame for how I treated others. “How could I have been so cruel?” Or “how could I not have seen what I was doing?!” The concept of forgiving myself and others for what I didn’t know and do not know, and what they didn’t know and don’t know yet, is such a gift. It opens me up to fully accepting myself now, which further allows me to fully accept and love others, thus allowing me to live in a world of peace, joy, and love! This acceptance gives me access to “peace that passeth all understanding”, even in a world of “imperfection” and duality.
Such a concept gives us a beautiful perspective and empathy for ourselves and others when we show up rude, inconsiderate, or unaware. What a great perspective to hold- because we, as small children, are unaware of so much and have a lot to learn. How exciting! How beautiful! The perfection is now. The joy is now. The beauty is now.
Those perfect moments when you snuggle your child in your arms before bed, or when he blows a kiss to you as he heads into school….
Those perfect moments when you and your spouse chat over finances and money, or when you’re trying to figure out how to not eat an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting….
Those moments are perfect. You are perfect.
Maybe, that is the perspective that God and Source have for us. Maybe, instead of looking down on us stupid, lowly, dumb, little humans, God looks down and sees beauty, perfection, potential, growth, and greatness, now. Just like I do when I see my 6 year old pull out his first tooth, or celebrates the fact that he made a new friend at school.
Just like a caterpillar is perfect as a sweet, crawling critter, with the potential to be a butterfly,
You are perfect now. The joy is now.
And those things that you can improve on? Rejoice in those. Those are opportunities for even MORE JOY and learning! How lucky are we?
Pain and suffering come from saying, “I should be a certain way” or “my parents messed up because they didn’t do a,b, or c”. Pain and suffering come from expectations, judgements, and filters saying that reality should be different, that I should have had more of this, or I should be more of this.
Oftentimes what we want to happen, just doesn’t happen — and what we never want to happen, happens. Such is reality…but fighting against it, hating yourself and others, only brings dis-ease, frustration, and suffering.
Now does that mean that you can’t take your experiences and change your reality? Does that mean that you are stuck with what is? No way! That is the beauty of being a human. We have choice.
We have the power to say, “hmmm, this didn’t serve me”, or, “I didn’t like the results from my actions or the actions of others. I’m going to change and modify my perspective, or my actions” We always have the power to choose our realities, and awaken the unconscious and unaware parts within ourselves.
Maybe that is why God allows us to have these “imperfections” or “unknowings”…. Because they guide us and teach us and let us choose for ourselves the joy that we desire to feel. The pain of others’ unawareness and the pain that comes from our own unawareness, opens our eyes to what we can do differently.
The duality and perfection of it all is so beautiful. We are perfect in every moment, with the potential to grow, expand, and learn. Not making ourselves bad or wrong for what we haven’t learned yet is the key to peace and joy NOW. Accepting and enjoying ourselves in this moment, while keeping ourselves open for learning, is key to joy and fulfillment, NOW.
Forgiveness is an amazing tool that allows us to stop fighting with reality and accept ourselves and others as we are now. Forgiveness goes hand-in-hand with compassion.
I too have been there- unconscious and hurting myself and others– but now I know, more than ever, it gives me the ability to quickly forgive and empathize with what others are experiencing.
I look at my son who is learning to read, and to him, it is so frustrating! He feels inadequate and dumb because he’s not where he wants to be, or he’s not as far as his brother is… And because of my own experiences, I empathize with him. I know what that feels like to feel frustrated.
But at the same time, I know that he can figure this out and get through it…. I know that even though some words may stump him, and he might feel stuck, there will be a day where he will be able to read paragraphs without even thinking twice about what the “TH” together make.
Again, maybe that is the perspective God has with us.
Source knows that we will achieve our potential one day, and knows that we will never again be where we are today, so to just enjoy it.
Enjoy learning how to manage your emotions, be a patient parent, eat healthy without killing yourself over it, and how to budget your money.
It’s all a part of the perfect process of life. It’s all perfect now.
All of it.
Lauren is an Emotional Release Facilitator and Life Coach at her Business Bold Life Healing. She has dedicated her life to serving and empowering others, and uses her business as a means to accomplish that. Lauren is a mom of 2 boys and a step mom to 6 other great kids. She went to the Institute of Healing Arts in Lindon, Utah to study Emotional Release Processing, and has been a speaker at several Self-Help Seminars.
Her Business Facebook Page is: https://www.facebook.com/boldlifehealing/
If you are interesting in working with her or contacting her, you can email her at Boldlifehealing@gmail.com or send her a message on Facebook.