GLOSSARY

Being: “is the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature. But don’t seek to grasp it with your mind. Don’t try to understand it. You can know it only when the mind is still. When you are present, when your attention is fully and intensely in the Now, Being can be felt, but it can never be understood mentally. To regain awareness of Being and to abide in that state of “feeling-realization” is enlightenment.” (Eckhart Tolle)

Belonging: the innate human desire to be a part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and seeking approval…which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic and effective selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance. (Brene Brown)

Calm: creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity. (Brene Brown)

Compassion: Recognizing the light and dark in our shared humanity, we commit to practicing loving-kindness with ourselves and others in the face of suffering. Empathy: The most powerful tool of compassion, empathy is an emotional skill that allows us to respond to others in a meaningful, caring way. Empathy is the ability to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding. It’s important to note here that empathy is understanding what someone is feeling , not feeling it for them. If someone is feeling lonely, empathy doesn’t require us to feel lonely, too, only to reach back into our own experience with loneliness so we can understand and connect. We can fake empathy, but when we do, it’s not healing or connecting. The prerequisite for real empathy is compassion. We can only respond empathically if we are willing to be present to someone’s pain. Empathy is the antidote to shame and it is the heart of connection. Sympathy: Rather than being a tool for connection, sympathy emerged in the data as a form of disconnection. Sympathy is removed: When someone says, “I feel sorry for you” or “That must be terrible,” they are standing at a safe distance. Rather than conveying the powerful “me too” of empathy, it communicates “not me,” and then adds, “But I do feel for you.” Sympathy is more likely to be a shame trigger than something that heals shame. (Brene Brown)

Connection: “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Connection doesn’t exist without giving and receiving. We need to give and we need to need. (Brene Brown)

Enlightenment: “is a state of wholeness, of being “at one” and therefore at peace.” (Eckhart Tolle)

Faith: is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty. (Brene Brown)

Guilt-not a focus on who we are but a focus on what we have done I DID SOMETHING BAD=Focus on behavior. (Brene Brown)

Imagination: “is the key to reality” (Caroline Tuttle)

Intuition: is not a single way of knowing—it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason. (Brene Brown)

Love-we cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and most powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get-it is so etching we nurture and grow; a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them. We can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare. (Brene Brown)

Sacrifice: When I was young, I was taught that the definition of sacrifice was giving up something good for something better. I suppose these teachers were trying to keep me hooked with the idea of “something better.” I later learned that sacrifice actually means “to make sacred.” (Felice Austin)

Self-love: Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves. (Brene Brown)

Shame: the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed, and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. The sense that we are bad, that there is something we have failed to do that makes us unworthy of acceptance, belonging. I AM BAD=Focus on self. (Brene Brown)

Stillness: is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing.It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.

Wisdom: is the capacity to seek the learning present in all of the situations of our lives. It is the ability to accept, as the prayer of Reinhold Neibuhr states, what we cannot change and to have the courage to change what we need to change. (Caroline Myss, The Creation of Health)

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